Diminishing Bodies = Diminishing Partners?
Earlier this week, Tyra Banks had an interesting program on women who had partners who preferred being with larger women and how it affected their relationship. One woman had gained a considerable amount of weight while partnered with a man who wanted her bigger. As she gained the weight, she realized that, while her size gain was making her partner happy, she, herself, didn’t want to get any bigger than she already had gotten (she was now over 400 pounds). The conversation with the husband (with Tyra’s prodding) revealed to him that she didn’t want to gain more weight (to, presumably, make him happy), but her fear was that if she lost weight, she’d lose him. He listened to her concerns, but (to me) was unconvincing that if she lost the weight, he would still be attracted to her.
There are men who definitely prefer being with larger women and, should they have weight loss, there is the risk of the relationship changing (at least) or totally falling apart. My husband met and married me at a much larger size and, while he says he totally understands my need to lose the weight for health reasons, it’s clear that his preference is still with a larger figure. My weight loss has been some what of a strain on our relationship, but, for me, the benefits of losing the weight far outweigh the risk of losing my husband.
As you lose your weight, have you had negative feedback from your partner? I’m certain I’m not the only one facing this issue — while most are happy to see their partners shrink, there are some who hold back with their enthusiasm based on their own preference or past history with the person losing the weight. What do you think? Is this really an issue that’s across the board for both men and women??
Please forgive this public method of my reaching out to you. I didn’t know of another way to get in touch. I lost contact with you ten years ago.
A friend recently emailed me the “All of Me” movie trailer. I was totally blown away by it! Blown away by the general content, the honesty, the openness, etc. It touched me, deeply, on many levels. The journey is very personal for me, as I have also had WLS.
It was wonderful to see your smiling face again! I have thought of you often during the past 10 years. We shared many fun times together and many hours on the phone supporting one another. I’ve missed our friendship, your intelligence, your laugh, your advice.
I’m still not quite sure why you chose to discontinue contact with me. I must of hurt you. I want you to know that if I did, I certainly did not mean to, and I apologize if I did.
I want you to know that I highly valued you, then and now. And, that I wish you the absolute best.
Much peace and happiness to you,