To Tell or Not To Tell……

I ran across this Dear Abby response and am amazed that, even after WLS, folks don’t understand why, for some, it’s important to keep their surgery to themselves. To tell or not to tell is really a personal decision. What’s right for one, may not be right for another. No one’s circumstances are the same and, for some, the need to keep their surgery on the QT may be what the person needs to do for themselves.

It’s not to say that, after time has passed, that their need to keep the procedure to themself may not change. Having surgery and who to tell or when to tell is really based on the person’s own needs. I truly don’t understand how people can have a “blanket” approach to how the person’s news should or shouldn’t be shared.

What may be right for one may not be right for another. If you choose to tell folks about your WL journey, that’s great that you’ve come to that place. If you don’t chose to tell folks about your WL journey, that’s also great — it’s all about choice. I know there are many whom I’ve run across who felt that they needed to keep their journey to themselves, but, later, have opened up to people about it. Some are very vocal from the get-go — some just want to remain silent about what they are doing. The point is, there is no “blanket” right answer to whether or not it’s something a WL patient should or shouldn’t do.

Even after surgery, when everyone does know you’ve had surgery, there may be times when you run into problems and feel that you need to keep these issues to yourself for fear of judgement or opinions that are unsolicited. I know that, with my struggles, I have backed away from people who “should” know better, but have felt the need to give an opinion when an opinion wasn’t asked for. I say “should” only because they, too, have had WLS and, theorically, “should” understand what it means to be in a tough spot and the best help to give is a shoulder, not an opinion. Tell us what have your experiences been. Is telling something you HAVE to do?

Here’s the article from Dear Abby…..



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